Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
