Sponge bath it is.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
