You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
