Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You pole danced in your parka.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize