If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize