You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
