I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Randomize