Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
