Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
