quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
