And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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