i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize