You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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