Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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