apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
