Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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