I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
In America we eat man semen.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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