She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
