People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
