Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
