So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
