Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
