I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My ATM looks so different sober.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I love you.
Bad choice
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
