i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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