you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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