i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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