Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
