Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
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I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
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As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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