there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...