I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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