I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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