They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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