3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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