He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
