My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
