glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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