Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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