Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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