Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
