It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
