She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
