Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
