My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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