Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
