wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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