she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
