I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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