drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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