i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
