Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
