i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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