He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
