i think my tv is drunk
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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