We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he shaved USA in his pubs
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
