"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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