Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
