Her vagina should come with caution tape.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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