i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
