i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
