My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I would ride that face into the sunset
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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