I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
