I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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