My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
