hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
