Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
