My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
