I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
